Serious topic

I want to talk about a very serious topic. I want to talk about cutting. I know a lot of people say that people who do it are attention seekers and being whiny. And that’s not true at all. I was one of those people who cut all the time. And no one would have ever caught me if I remembered to lock the bathroom door. My cutting was a very secretive thing and I cut in places where no one else could see the marks. Cutting for me is a thing to calm down and make me know that I am still human and I am still alive. The calming thing only last for a way and then panic ensues and it starts over again and again. Cutting is a horrible cycle to get caught in. Some people stop for a long time and then they get right back in it. I stopped for almost 7 months before everything started getting so chaotic inside my head that I could not take it anymore. And I started cutting again. It started again with little cuts and now every time I do it, it gets worse and worse. I get this sick feeling after I do it. And I feel guilty for doing it. It’s a terrible addiction and it just as bad to quit. When I try to quit I get the shakes and the chills. I get urges to do it and my skin is just asking me to rip it open and let my skin breathe. And it feels like my body is going thru hell when I try to quit. It’s a real hard cycle to break and it gets harder every time you start again and stop again. I am not an attention seeker at all. I did not start this for attention. I started this for control and to help calm the demons in my head.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s