Choices in love and friendships

So my friend/ex decided to be friends again. It is very hard. He tells me that he wishes we were as close as we were before we stopped talking. I just can’t be that close to him ever again.

It hurt to much to lose him the first and letting him in again will hurt more. I like him as a friend but i don’t know if I could ever love him again.

And he really wants that. He wants to me to love him. And date and be only with him. And I don’t feel the same way. I don’t want a one person committed relationships. But he has to fight me about it and saying I really do want that. And I’m not sure if it is. I respect him and what he has to say. But I think he is judging me on how he thinks I should be and not how I am. I don’t want to fight with him and I feel like because of that I am still hiding from him in a way. And it sucks. Because he is a sensitive person. And I can be a brutally honest person and I stop myself mentally from doing that to him.

So yeah maybe I still do like him as more then a friend a little or maybe because the heart never forgets. Or the mind doesn’t lose the impact and the memories that a certain person makes on you.

Feelings were never an easy thing for me to openly talk about to anyone and this blog has helped me a lot to openly discuss these things. And I’m happy with this blog.

And I realized that people are good sometimes. And life has good and bad things in it. And sometimes the good outweighs the bad and the bad outweighs the good.


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