Temptation

Temptation is the hardest thing I have to deal with everyday. It is so hard to resist it sometimes.

Every time I open the knife drawer, every time I shave. And time I see some kind of sharp object. I get the urge to self harm.  I do give into my temptation sometimes because I get tired of fighting it so much.

I sometimes have the same problem with alcohol. I see it, I want it . And the same goes with drugs and sex.

It is so easy to blame other things on your problem with temptation when you know inside it is just you giving in. Addiction is a lifetime problem and it unreasonable to think that people having one won’t relapse. They all do.

It is a struggle to juggle all of this sometimes but I also can’t just burden someone else with. Especially people who don’t understand what this is like. It is getting easy tho and that gives me hope. And I feel mentally stronger then I did in the past.

Because at some point I will run out of luck.

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