Fighting guilt

After a fight/talk with a friend. He told me how he felt. And he said when I told him I would try to love him at the time I meant what I said.

But then I met a new person and I fell for him. I felt happy and safe for once. And I feel like trusting him.  But because of that my friend said I was just leading him on and that I was lying to him.

To be honest I was never sure about my feelings for him. And now I feel incredibly guilty because my friend has been thru so much with me. And the fact he is hurting because I was doing what I do all the time and that is taking care of everyone else. 

And my friend feels like he is fucking up my chances of being happy and he isn’t. And at this point I have no idea what to do.

I just want to be in a good relationship and i have no idea if that can happen if I’m still friends with him. And I’m scared if I tell him that , he will do something stupid. And then I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.  And now I’m doubting my new relationship. And myself.

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