Venting

I wish I could tell you what I was doing and where I was going but I can’t tell you that. It is all one massive black out. I got into a little fight with my friend or ex friend I guess now… And after that just blank. I am not scared tho. I oddly feel calm and kinda happy. It is a weird feeling tho. Know that you were doing stuff but you don’t know where or what.

I just hope nothing bad happened. And I didn’t do anything I will regret later. I am scared to talk to anyone really about this. I feel like this makes a failure and that is my fault for not beingĀ able to fully deal with everything from the past. And it makes me look like a liar. Like I haven’t even be trying to work on things. And I mean I haven’t been as much I should be. I just don’t want to go back to the hospital.

I just don’t want to lose everything again. But I have a feeling that it is too late..

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Fucking done

I lose everyone I want to be happy with. And I love. I don’t think I’m immature by any means. I think that I deal with things in my own way. But I don’t see why that makes me immature. And yeah, when I get upset with things, I may do dumb things. But I don’t why you guys hate me.

I hate it. I guess I am just better off completely alone. Because I guess I’m too immature for any type of relationship and shit. And no one wants to be my friend because I’m selfish. That is just bullshit. I care about everyone else and no one cares about me. So I guess whatever. I am done with this world.