Venting

I wish I could tell you what I was doing and where I was going but I can’t tell you that. It is all one massive black out. I got into a little fight with my friend or ex friend I guess now… And after that just blank. I am not scared tho. I oddly feel calm and kinda happy. It is a weird feeling tho. Know that you were doing stuff but you don’t know where or what.

I just hope nothing bad happened. And I didn’t do anything I will regret later. I am scared to talk to anyone really about this. I feel like this makes a failure and that is my fault for not being able to fully deal with everything from the past. And it makes me look like a liar. Like I haven’t even be trying to work on things. And I mean I haven’t been as much I should be. I just don’t want to go back to the hospital.

I just don’t want to lose everything again. But I have a feeling that it is too late..

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One thought on “Venting

  1. Alex says:

    You need the hospital. You are doing so much damage to yourself. I want nothing to do with you. You murdered my gf by telling her to jump. I will never forgive you for that. Ever. So go get help and give yourself a fighting chance at redemption. You can’t do it on your own and I’m not here for you anymore. Best of luck in your endeavors

    Like

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