Unfixable

I don’t know what to write anymore. I just don’t have the will to do anything anymore. I don’t want to try anymore

I just keep losing everyone that has meaning to me and I know its my fault. I will say. But without this chaos I don’t know who I am.

I feel lost without the crazy and the drama. The constant chaos and just the bad. I feel like I don’t know who I am. It become a huge part of me. Trying to function is hard without it. I am bored easily without it.

I just feel like everyone wants me to be a person that I am not. And all I want to be is free. And happy.

I don’t know anything else then the cycle of self abuse I have been going thru. That the only way I know how to treat myself.

I been thru therapy. Many different types of it. I tried rehab. I have been hospitalized. But nothing works. Nothing helps me. I am literally unfixable.

I am too broken.  I am just too messed up inside. I can’t stop the cycle. I can for a little while and then it starts again. It happens everything. 

I’m just sorry to everyone.

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