Losing it

I am not sure what to do. I am happy I guess that I do have supporting people. 

But I don’t want to anymore. It is just so tiring. And it brings up a lot of bad shit I don’t want to rememeber. 

I feel so sick telling her about my past. And I am not sure she truly still loves me or not. She says she does. 

I feel sick for all the things I did in my past.  I wish I have died. It would have been so much easier on everyone. It would mean a lot less pain for everyone I know. All I do is cause pain and misery. 

I don’t know what to do. I am so lost. And I just hate myself. 

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