I feel like no one will ever trust me. The person I with even has a hard time trusting me. Which is just great when you are in relationship with them. And when your family doesn’t know if they can trust you. It hurts. And I hate it.
I hate myself for ruining it so bad that they don’t trust me anymore.
I feel like I am losing a uphill battle. I keep trying to find things to keep me track. And keep me busy; so my mind doesn’t wander into the bad thoughts. It is a never ending cycle.
And I know my sister doesn’t trust because I opened up to her about some really horrible things I did in the past. And I wish I didn’t. I really do. I think I ruined our relationship a little bit. She probably thinks I am way worse person.
I’m just sorry that no one can trust me. And I wish someone would.