Hi

I don’t know why I care to write this. I don’t think I’m doing any good. I am not doing good. I just want to die.

I have tried to kill myself so many times and failed so many times.

I just want my old friends back and my old life back. I want to walk with others as equals. I want to find some one I can love. And do mine who loves despite all my flaws. And my bad past. I just want humans contact again. I miss being hold. I miss talking to people. I miss a lot of things. I miss just things I have no business missing.

I miss I don’t know any more. Nothing helps. No treatments make it better. No medicines help. My brain doesn’t want to get better even tho I do. And I try.

I am still sober for some reason. I haven’t done any drugs. I haven’t drank any alcohol. I am still clean. Maybe that is why I am still miserable.  I don’t know anymore. I am so lost right now.

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