Why do I keep writing

I wish I had all the words to express how I feel. But I just don’t.

This horrible lingering I don’t even know what it is anymore. Loneliness but it’s not really that. It’s a weird mixture of depression, anger, regret, worry, and numbness.

There isn’t the right word for it. My emotions are just made so much more intense because of my sleep. Well more the lack of sleep.

But sleeping has always been a struggle for me. Probably will always be a struggle.

And then a rogue message from that person. Well just made me realize other things.

I guess things never change.

Even tho I am with someone else.

I feel kinda bad. A little.

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