New hopeĀ 

I finally found the happiness I needed in my life. I found it by weeding out the negative people in my life and replacing them with positive people and people that will support me. And I started going to therapy and doing meeting for my addictions. And I’m also working on my relationships with my mom and dad. My dad will not accept me as me but my mom is trying to accept and learn about my life.  I confessed everything to her. 
That was the hardest I ever did. But that proved me how much she loves me. And how she cares for me.  I was so wrong about her for so long. And her saying she was sorry was the greatest thing I ever heard. 
I feel happy again. I feel like I’m becoming whole again. Like there isn’t two of me anymore. And I want just want to say thank you to everyone. 



The one thing I hate is feeling vulnerable. It is one of the scariest feeling ever.  

My CBT does that on purpose to help with the complusions and to show to me that it is ok to be that way. And it also shows me how to deal with the anxiety and to deal with it. Also sort of learn to be comfortable with it and just push thru it because it will come down. 

Doing this type of therapy has shown me a lot and so far has taught me a lot . It is showing me new ways to cope with my anxiety and to have a normal like life. But it also is so easy to slip back into old habits. But I hope with these new skills, it will be easier to manage. 

I really hope I can get over hating the feeling of being vulnerable and just learn to be open with people. And maybe eventually learning to trust people again but now I will just focus on one thing at a time. 

Take my time learning new ways to live a healthier life and for ways to start loving myself.